A breakdown kind of seems nice right now.

I don't know, I saw this gif of this girl breaking down on my dash and it made me want to because I know it's going to happen soon.

I can't remember the last time I felt angry or even cried and it worries me. Actually, the last time I cried was when Chelsea was making me laugh so much that I cried which had never happened before because it's hard to make me laugh.

I don't like normal humour, I like violent and cruel humour, and sometimes silly things. I like British humour, satire?

I like Frankie Boyle because he's just an insulting Scottsman. I like Noel Fielding because he's like a child and it' silly, plus cape. I like Sarah Millican because she likes cake. I like Dylan Moran because he says it as it is. I like Dara O'Briain because he has wonderful teeth and has quick comebacks.

I like people that make me laugh, not as in ha ha ha, but as in mouth wide open full on fucking cackling and everyone's staring at me because of my laugh. I hate my laugh, but I like that it makes other people laugh. Only a few people have heard me laugh properly, I rarely laugh properly.


I don't like talking to people. Most of the time, I'm misanthropic and hate everyone. I despise males and find it very difficult to talk to them because I have so much hatred for them. They're so fucking ignorant and stupid.

Even though I came out to Mum, she still said 'You don't bring home boys or go out do you?'. Well,  no Mum, I'm a lesbian and dislike going outside because people are moronic anuses.

I went outside today for the first time since Tuesday, that's 4 days ago, I don't mind though. It was peaceful because of the snow but not for long. I got really pissed off because I came back soaking wet and snow went all in my fucking eyes and made my eye makeup run so I looked like a run down hoe, and I wasn't.

If you're crying in a public place, nobody says anything. I remember walking back from school when I was in year 8 so I must have been about 12, and I was crying, it was noticeable back then too. I didn't know anything about makeup so I just used to put black all around my eyes because I woz a propa goff back then. Nobody said anything to me, they just looked at me.

The last time I saw someone crying in public, there was this girl crying on the bus so I started talking to her and she started telling me what was wrong, and I talked to her until she stopped crying and until she felt a bit better, and until I had to get off the bus of course. I wish someone would've done that for me and shown that they cared even slightly.

I don't want to contact him anymore, I kicked him out of my life for a reason, he's a fucking cunt who needs to fucking die. FUCKING MEN! FUCK OFF! I fucking hate them so bastard much, they're all fucking stupid, like seriously. I don't like talking to men because they're just fucking pathetic and submissive and utter twats. As Chelsea would say, FUCK OFFF FUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCCCCCCCK OFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF.

I like it when she does that, she does it in the middle of town when everyone's watching , she doesn't care and that's why I like her. Her and Gina, they don't give shit about what people think of them, and I think they're wonderful for it.

If I ever see his ratty face again or if he ever tries to talk to me again, I'll kick him in the walnuts and start shouting fuck off at him. I hope he dies, he's so fucking disgusting and vile. If murder wasn't illegal, I'd go round to his house right now and torture him until he was dead, and then I'd start on his inbred family. They fucking disgust me, all of them.

A lot of people think that I'm nice and lovely and stuff, but I'm not I'm vile and that's how I like it. I don't like a lot of people, ad they probably don't like me but whatever.

I rarely like people or even talk to them, the only person I talk to on a daily basis is my mum and sometimes I don't even like talking to her. She's going deaf or something and keeps misunderstanding things I say, like the other day. We were watching Corrie and I asked her 'Did Milton turn up out of the blue?' and she said 'Did Rosie turn up out of the shop?' THEY DON'T EVEN FUCKING SOUND THE SAME MOTHER, JUST WHAT.

I'd like to go somewhere, I can't wait until next year. I'll nearly be finished with college and looking at apartments in Cardiff. And this time next year in a few months, I'll be in Cardiff where I don't know anyone so I don't have to speak to anyone and it'll be brilliant! I'll come back ever weekend or so to see my Mum because I can't go without her for long, she's wonderful.

I have this idea in my head of how I should look, I look amazing and wonderful and unique. But then I look in the mirror and get upset because I see fat and ugliness. It'll change soon though.