I would just LOVE to know who is stalking this blog.

I was looking at my sources and it shows me who searches for things on my blog

I'd love to know who searches the 'feelings getting stronger' post that I made in the summer. The post that I made about a friend which I mistook feelings of lust for feelings of care.
Stop stalking it.

I am not a shit friend and I am not a shit person.

Fuck you for saying that.
Those are practically the 2 things that I tell my self everyday and I'm sick of everyone else telling me.

I know that I'm disgusting and shit, I don't need you to tell me.

I'm shit because I'm too scared to talk to people?
I'm shit because I don't answer your calls because I get too nervous to even answer the phone?
I'm shit for avoiding people because I don't want them to see me for what I really am which is fat ugly and stupid?
I'm shit for not wanting people to be around me when I'm at my worst so that I don't hurt them?

It seems that whenever I feel like I'm doing good and actually have a slight feeling of being happy, someone rains on my parade and makes me fall again.

I don't really trust people, so I don't really like talking to people either.