I've looked into Mercy.

It's 18-28 year olds, I'm 16 now so , 2 years and I'll be able to go, that's if I'll want to then.
I don't know, it'll be better that way, I'll have finished college and can have a gap year and go then, I'll be just gone 18 then.
I don't know, some days I want to be normal, other days I think fuck it. I feel that if I went, I'd be gone for a good 6 months to 12 months, nobody would write to me, and people in there would probably pick on me or something.

Sometimes I feel like just ripping every inch of skin off, I don't feel anything anymore, emotionally and physicaly. If I feel something emotionally, I'll make a big deal out of it because it hardly ever happens, but most of the time people just shove it away like it's something unimportant,. It might not be important to them, but it's important to me, very important.

I'd like to sleep, and carry on sleeping. I feel so tired, mentally not physically.

I'm getting more and more destructive thoughts and I just don't know what to do. I don't want to burden anyone. People don't get that, they think I'm ignoring them. I'm not, it's just that I don't want to burden them with all of my problems, and I don't want them to get attached to me in anyway, because I'm not exactly physically kind to myself, and I don't want them to worry.

If I touch my arm, I shudder. If I look in the mirror, I cry. If I touch scars, I just go numb.