Everything's so fucked right now.
I hate the fact that I have to rely on makeup for me to feel any what confident or remotely attractive.
Nobody ever looks twice at me normally, I either have to be fucking 6ft, or really loud, and that just puts people off.
Yesterday, I was stood at the edge of the pier, I was thinking of things to live for, I have none. Then mum called me up and asked me to get something to eat because she's worrying about me eating again. She thinks I'm not eating, I can't fucking stop eating. I'll eat something, and then eat something else, and make something, and eat something whilst that's being made. I hate it so much.
I'm sick of people talking about diets and eating and food, it's all I ever think about and I don't like it being real.
I don't think I'll ever have someone that likes me, they always get occupied by someone else, or they live fucking miles away.
I prefer talking to people online because then they don't have to see what I look like in really life, an ugly fat girl with hardly any friends.
Everyone is saying that I'm shy, I don't get it though. I don't think I'm shy, but apparently I am. My self esteem right now is so low.
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